


I’ll Be Here Forever

by MysticalMalec



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Immortal Alec Lightwood, M/M, Morning Cuddles, Romance, immortality references, soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 20:05:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14576640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticalMalec/pseuds/MysticalMalec
Summary: “It’s okay darling, I’m fine.” He replied, kissing Alec’s forehead. Alec sighed, moving to hold Magnus’ hand in his. “No, you’re not. Talk to me.” Alec’s brows furrowed slightly, and spoke again. “If you don’t mind.”





	I’ll Be Here Forever

Magnus woke up by soft trails of small kisses along his shoulder blades. Strong arms wrapped around his middle as he drifted between waking and sleep, the gentle kisses on his back distracting him from falling back.

“Good morning, love.” Magnus greeted warmly, moving his hand to interlace with Alec’s. Alec stopped the kisses, and Magnus almost whined at the loss.

“Did I wake you up?” Alec asked, voice rough with sleep.

“Not that I mind.” Magnus smiled and turned so that he could see Alec. He placed a hand on Alec’s neck, softly caressing his jaw with his thumb, admiring the overnight stubbles that made his boyfriend look even more irresistible.

Alec leaned into the touch, eyes closed as if he was totally submitting himself to Magnus.

_Yours._

The voice in Alec’s mind echoed louder than any word he had spoken. He kept his eyes closed while he falls, fall even deeper in the warm feelings bubbling in his chest whenever Magnus is around.

Soft lips touched his while the hand on his neck slide to tug at the short hair. The response into the kiss was slow, with practised ease from all the time they spent cuddling together, forgetting the world.

Alec groaned when he felt Magnus licking his lips with pressure, asking for entrance, and he easily let Magnus in, breathing heavily. He let his hands wonder down to caress gently at Magnus’ lower back as Magnus’ tongue explored his mouth. All Alec wanted to do was to show that he will not leave if Magnus allow him to stay, if Magnus want him to stay. The insecured part of him wants to press their body together and feel the skin to skin connection forever, never letting go.

The thoughts of not being able to be around Magnus hit Alec’s chest with an ache that hurts too much. Magnus, beautiful, kind-hearted and loving Magnus, have to one day suffer from losing him. Leaving Magnus was inevitable as long as he stays as a mortal shadowhunter, and Alec cannot bear the hurt he is due to deliver in time. The hurt and pain will be the last thing he gives Magnus in his lifetime.

Alec gasped into the kiss, reluctantly pulling away when the harsh realisation transformed into an ache that restricted his chest. A thumb gently swiped away a tear that manage to escape Alec’s eyes unknowingly. He looked up to find Magnus’ confused expression, a flash of hurt fly pass his gold eyes before Magnus blink and glamoured them back to brown.

“I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” Magnus’ voice was small and insecure as he removed his hand from Alec, initiating a distance between them.

Alec wants to laugh. Magnus is being careful not to hurt him, but Alec will be the one delivering the biggest pain to the love of his life when his time is up. The ache in his chest swelled once more and he can feel his tears welling up again. Why is the world being so unfair to Magnus, who have only been nothing but kind to everyone in need? Why does loving Magnus means leaving him in the end and letting him suffer in loneliness again?

Alec wiped the tears on his face and reach a hand across Magnus’ waist to pull him in closer from the distance that Magnus had pulled away. Magnus was hesitant at first but as soon as Alec buries his face into his chest, Magnus did nothing but melt into the embrace, tugging Alec’s head under his chin.

They stayed under the sheets, basking in silence. Magnus had questions, but it can all wait till Alec calmed down and is ready to talk. He slowly let his fingers run up and down the smooth curve of Alec’s back, occasionally kissing his hairline with affection. The touches eased Alec’s soft sobs and tense shoulders, and the tight embrace slowly loosen up into a relaxed position.

“How do you deal with it?” Alec voice was low and a little shaky, like he was afraid to speak at all. Magnus will not be able to hear him if not for the close proximity, but even so, he was still unable to understand where is this conversation coming from.

“What do you mean, Alexander?” Magnus asked, a whisper to the raven hair tickling his chin while his hands continued the caressing that he knew had sooth Alec out of the tension.

“I mean,” Alec sighed as he starts drawing patterns on Magnus’ bare skin and pulled away a little to look at Magnus. “How do you deal with your past lovers, mortals, aging and leaving?”

 _Oh, this._ Magnus have not prepare to talk about this issue. Not yet. Not when they are well in the early stage of their relationship where he is still having butterflies in his stomach every time they touch, and his heart surging when they see each other. They have not even past their first year anniversary to begin with, let alone for Magnus to feel long enough to think of the finale of their relationship. He had been putting in all effort trying to keep this relationship, working out all possible wrong steps even with his stubborn way of life. He would admit in a heartbeat that he was addicted to Alec, addicted to his affection and straight-forward ways of expressing his mind. Alec never fail to surprise him every time he initiate a step in the relationship and Magnus do not intend to lose him any sooner.

Although Magnus had his plans, he missed out that his dearest Alexander only had such limited time. Magnus wants to have him in his life as long as Alec wanted him. With all the ongoing activities in the shadow world, Magnus was worried he might one day lose him to a battle or a dangerous mission, but never from old age. Also, there was a part of him that was not confident that Alec will continue to choose him in the future, or things might turn out sour between them eventually and Alec will find someone better for himself. Magnus hate to admit but it was his instinct to hold onto this fleeting love as long as he could before things go south. His heart clenched at the thought of not having Alec anymore, the feeling of sorrow drowning in his chest and it made breathing difficult.

Magnus felt Alec’s hand cupped his face, the warmth of his palm seeping on his skin in a soft caress. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push. You don’t have to answer me.”

His expression must have fallen, for Alec had guilt in his eyes when he gaze into those hazel orbs. “It’s okay darling, I’m fine.” He replied, kissing Alec’s forehead. Alec sighed, moving to hold Magnus’ hand in his. “No, you’re not. Talk to me.” Alec’s brows furrowed slightly, and spoke again. “If you don’t mind.”

He sucked in a deep breath and sighed. “Most of my past loves don’t spend the rest of their life with me, Alexander.” Magnus spoke with a light tone, the one that Alec recognised immediately as an invisible wall that his boyfriend is building around him, to not let people think that he is affected by the many past events he had experienced. Alec speaks of nothing, simply continue holding and playing with Magnus’ fingers in silence, giving him the space he needed to count his thoughts.

“The old gramophone in the living room,” Magnus managed to sooth his voice while he speaks, “It was for Etta. I think you might have seen her in the album you were looking through the other day.”

Alec recalled the name from a faded mint album that Magnus had left on the coffee table weeks ago, which he had absent-mindedly flipped through with Magnus by his side. He had recognised some of Magnus’ friends, along with many other that he had not seen before. “The pretty lady with a tea cup?”

Magnus chuckled, “Yes. That’s her.” He pulled Alec closer in his chest and buried his nose into the wild raven hair. “She moved in with me in her early 20s. And she left me in her mid 50s.”

“Was she a mundane?” Alec asked quietly.

“Yes.” Magnus heard Alec sucked in a deep breath, as if putting his thought together before he continue the conversation.

“Is it because of the downworld?”

Magnus moved his fingers through the messy locks, smelling the faint sandalwood shampoo that Alec had used every time he stayed over. “No. She wanted to have a family of her own. Something I couldn’t give anyone.”

“Nonsense.” Alec said, voice stern with no harm directed. “There is no such thing.”

“And yet she left.” Magnus sighed and kissed the raven hair once. “And I understand.”

Never had Alec felt such despair in his heart, the need to wrap Magnus up in his embrace and keep him safe forever, and to let him know he will never leave. He need to do something, for he feared Magnus is going to tell him that he will understand if he choose to leave, just like how Etta did. Alec do not want Magnus to accept that Alec might be leaving one day. He need Magnus to want him forever and in return he want Magnus to be his rock forever. He wants to be selfish once.

Alec lifted his head from breathing in Magnus’ neck, to face him eye to eye. He gazed into Magnus’ eyes, chocolate brown still with glamour, so old and full of painful experience.  “Stop talking.” Alec moved, palm holding his boyfriend’s cheeks, lips mere inches from the other. “I’ll be here forever, just kiss me.”

Magnus visibly let go as their breath mingled before he moved upwards to capture Alec’s lips. The kiss was soft but deep as they spent time getting lost with each other, quickly establishing a rhythm that only they know.

Magnus smiled when they eventually parted, grateful for having Alec with him, being so gentle and loving. Yet he could not shake off the words that was just spoken to him moments ago.

_I’ll be here forever._

He wants to tell Alec that he will be by his side and love him as much as his heart could. But for today, this is enough. For this moment, he have the love of his life in his arms, and the reassurance of their love. Listening to each other’s breathing, they both slowly drifted back to sleep, basking in the warmth of bodies under the sheets.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first posted fic. Hope you like it and let me know of any feedbacks with comments! :D


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